There is a primordial longing wired into us as infants to be seen, for our experience to be held, mirrored, and validated by another. Many have heard of the term ‘holding environment,’ introduced by the British analyst Donald Winnicott, to describe the required field of presence. Any good holding environment is made up of the essential qualities of contact and space.
Through making close, embodied contact with another as they are - we offer an attuned home in which their experience can unfold. We enter into close contact with another and their experience as it is, but not so close that we lose perspective and become emotionally fused with it. In this sacred middle territory we offer the gift of our attuned presence.
Simultaneously, there is the potential for the sacred offering of pure space. For space is our true nature. By resting in the organic space of being, we witness their experience as valid, that they do not need to be different, to change, to become ‘awakened,’ or to ‘heal’. We honor their unique process and journey, by being there for them, if we are needed.
While we may not always understand our experience - and while it may never conform to our ideas, hopes and dreams about the life we were 'meant to live' - we can come to trust that it is unfolding according to a unique blueprint which is emerging out of the unseen hand of love.
Extracted from "Resting in the mystery of being," by Matt Licata